Welcome, Hola and Aloha!!
Welcome to the Muhfuggers inaugural season. You are the first of many Muhfuggers to come to this organization. The season starts April 14th. So dust off and oil that glove, because you will need it.
I know you are excited because you decided to play on a “fun” team. On this team, our goal is not to put W’s in the win column. Our mission this year is to gather a bunch of misfits and amass some good times.
This year will not be without challenge. Some players, new to the “fun” concept, will find it difficult to adjust. An important challenge on this team, and this is probably our most important challenge, is …will you be able to laugh at yourself or at a player of lesser skill… when you/they strikes out or drops a fly ball and cost the Muhfuggers the game?
Can you conceal and imbibe questionable beverages in the parking lot without getting your team kicked out of the league because of the league’s zero tolerance law on drinking alcohol in the parking lot?
Can you deal with the myriad of personalities on the team? When the players curse? Play jokes & tease each other as well as those on the other team? How do you feel about lesbians?
Will you be able to handle my bad grammar and crappy jokes in the Muhfugger newsletters and on the blog entries? (I’m from Hawaii!! We talk funny!!)
These are some of the challenges you will encounter and deal with as the season progresses.
We will have players on the team that have A-League skills. We will have players that are learning the game. If you are hoping to get on a team that is ultra competitive, the Muhfuggers may not be for you. Perhaps we can point you to our A-League affiliate, the Poi Pounders. I am hoping that the A-League type players we have will be patient and encourage the softball challenged players to get better and have fun. On the other hand, I hope the softball challenged players can show the better players that you don’t have to have mad softball skills to have fun while playing softball.
We are the Muhfuggers. We will get along whether you are a great player or you suck….black, white latino or Filipino…. Beer Warrior or Soda freak. We are a team.
If you want to improve your skills prior to the start of the season, please see any of the coaches or players. I am sure they will be willing to help you play better. Since you will be having fun, you might as well learn the friggin game too.
If you have any problems, please see me or the other coaches. We will do our best to make sure you have a great season.
If you know me, I want to make sure we are the team that has the most laughs, that we have team closeness and that we have the best looking jerseys in the league!!
I hope everyone have a kick ass season!! You rotten Muhfuggers!!
Caesar
P.S. If you cause drama, you are a cry baby about playing time or anything else, and you hit more than two homeruns this season…YOU ARE CUT!! : )
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I don't have oil for my glove, will KY work? I do love lesbians, but I will refrain from kissing any of them, unless you wish them to quit the team.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we have all seen Alfonso drink 15 beers and we have also witnessed the results.
The cost of the jersey might be ok for you rich Hawaiianer's, but to expensive for us white trash folk.
If there are 9 mean and only 7 women, some of the men are going to have to double up or be left out.
What if I get 2 homeruns on errors?
Tammess. KY will work on your glove. We need our girls, so try kissing the guys. Liar, you are shattering my perceptions on white people having lots of money!! Fonso only vomitted becuz he drank 15 shots of tequila, not beer. I will be sitting out alot of games. If you get 2 homeruns on errors, if you get another,you must sleep with the entire team.
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