Muhfugger Spotlight - Rico "the Latin Lover" Rivas

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Muhfugger (real name): Ricardo Rivas

Jersey Name (if we ordered jerseys): Rico Suave

Hometown: "Whittier where the girls are prettier" or "Whittier, one key stroke away from being $hittier"

Birthday: Nov. 1981

Favorite Positions: Whatever turns her on..... I mean the outfield.

Why do you play softball? To hangout with cool people and get a workout. Oh yeah, the girls!

Favorite drink or beverage? crown and 7

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? I paddle with the Space Dragons

Do you wear a cup for protection? What size? Nah, I free ball it.
What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): I stick to the standard regulation bats

Do you finish with one hand or two? Two, don't want my bat flying and hurting anyone.

After you hit it, does it normally come off the bat as a dribbler, like a rocket or a shotgun? In between rocket and shotgun! (rotgun)

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? Definitely how you use it but you won't get a return trip to the plate using a toothpick. lol

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? No facial balls but I did get hit by a ball above the knee last week. I shed a single tear and continued playing.

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? Depends on the play at the plate. 90% of the time hit it hard

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? Trimmed the infield don't, want to any cuts..

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? It has been awhile but I am pretty sure I walked to 1st. :o(

Have you ever mooned, flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Si, No(walking into a room naked count?), yes, while surfing my board shorts came undone once....

(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? T at heart but I also need some sort of A to grind on when I am on the dance floor.

If you are a cowboy/cowgirl, you :
a) like to ride your animal like a hard bucking bronco.
b) like a nice easy ride. Nice and steady. As long as you get there.
c) like to pull on the reins tight and ride 'er fast and hard.
d) like to rope your catch and tie 'er up!!
A few minutes of C, followed by B if there is time.... lol

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you:
A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"
B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.
C) Either A, B or C is correct.
D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.
C. because We "f*ck Up" as a team

Leeonel wins another championship with the Poi Pounders

The Pride of Mexico...Leeonel Pena

Ho hum. Leeonel Pena got another Northrop Grumman A League championship with the Poi Pounders. Leeonel and his Poi Pounders beat Shark Infested Waters 16-9. He did this after playing with the Muhfuggers in their semi final loss, in the Poi Pounder semi final and the Northrop Grumman A League finals.

He led the Poi Pounders to a third championship. Leeonel has been an important cog on the moster of a machine called the Poi Pounders. With his accurate pitches and ability to confuse batters, he is arguably the league's MVP.

He disclosed that even though the Poi Pounders won the championship for the third time, there was a lack of celebration from his teammates. Perhaps, the Poi Pounder already established themselves as a dynasty, winning a championship was all in a days work.

Muhfuggers was overheard saying stuff like, "Leeonel, take that musubi out of your mouth when you go up to bat for us!!" , "Leeonel, take the Muhfuggers to the championship too!! U bested!! "

Leeonel returns next year to do double duty...as a Poi Pounder and a Muhfugger..and perhaps another pinche championship.

Water-Fugger Women win Bronze Medals in Vancouver!!

Water Fuggers in Vancouver!!

left to right: Ceez, Tammess, Rico, Deej, Jeremy Black, Jeremy White

The Water-Fuggers went to Vancouver and faced some of the best Dragon Boat teams on the west coast as well as teams who will be competing in the 2009 World Championships in Prague of the Czech Republic.

Tammy Cobb and Deadra Doctolero came back with bronze medals in the Recreation A Women's division. They came in third place behind another Long Beach Team, LARD and a Canadian team.

Tammess and Deej with their Bronze Medals

Caesar Longboy, Deadra Doctolero and Jeremy Sanders on the Space Dragons Red team did not get medals, but they help catapult the team into racing with the Competitive B teams. That means they were amongst the top 16 teams in the tournament. That is friggin good considering the competition. They came in seventh in their division championship. Also, in one of their races, they paddled their asses off for a club record time of 2 minutes flat. Fricken A!!

Red Team Race

Red team is 2nd to last team on the right.

Rico Rivas, Jeremy Carver and Tammy Cobb nearly got a Bronze in the Rec A Consolation bracket. They needed first place to get the bronze but lost to Sync or Swim of Portland, Oregon by 0.3 seconds. During the weekend, the Blue team also posted a Blue Team record of 2:06.

The Men came in eight place in the Open Championships (Men's Race). Even though they posted good times, their competition was too friggin tough. Some of those teams are headed to the Prague world championships. No problem, they now know they can hang with the big boys!!

The Space Dragons almost got a bronze medal in the Visitor's Cup race, but fell short, coming in fourth place.

Also, the Space Dragons took 6th in a grueling, never tried before, 2000m race. The Space Dragons had raced in 1000m races, but never a 2000m race. They had fun doing it.

"That was easy!! I would rather do the 2000m race than the 500m races!!" Said Tammy of her 2000m race.

Dragon Boats Ready for a weekend of racing the next day

It was a great venue. Lots of people showed up. Not the 90, 000 people they expected like last year, perhaps the rain had something to do with the attendance. It was still memorable. The Space Dragons were featured on the Vancouver news and the Space Dragons now know how they fare against top notched competition. "We need to work harder!!" said Space Dragons captain Wade Liu.

Quote of the weekend: "I have more races?? DAMN!! I don't want to paddle anymore. I just want to drink at the beer garden!! " Rico Rivas on Sunday during the Championship races.

Muhfugger News!! Deadra Graduates with AA degree!!

Muhfugger Deadra Doctolero all smiles after graduation

Muhfugger catcher graduated from the University of Phoenix to get her AA degree. She will continue schooling to persue her Bachelor's degree.

Good job Deadra!! Keep up the good work!!

Come From Behind Win Propel Muhfuggers to the Playoffs

The Muhfuggers were behind one run going into the sixth and last inning. Rico "Suave" Rivas blasted a pitch into center field to score the go ahead run...which thrust the Muhfuggers into the playoffs in their first season. Final score...Muhfuggers - 19 3up3down - 18.

However, it was not that simple. The forfeit loss on Friday (the Waterfuggers are in Vancouver for a tournament), made it a three way tie for last. Only one team could go to the playoffs. Muhfugger and Coed league coordinator, Leeonel Pena, had to go thru the standings and calculate using complex algoritms to find out which team was deserving to go to the playoffs.

Are they in?? Manager Caesar Longboy texted coach Pedro Frias from Vancouver to find out if the MF are in the playoffs. Pedro texted back....yes!!

"Are you sure??" said Caesar. "Well, he said we have a game next week Tuesday"

"Nice!"

Muhfuggers come from behind to win!!

The Muhfuggers....Victorious!!

Don't Know - 0 2 4 2 4 0 - 12

MuhFuggers - 1 7 1 0 0 4 - 13

After last week's disappointing loss to Up the Middle, the Muhfuggers agreed that they had to win the next game. Manager Caesar Longboy approached baby faced coach Pedro Frias and all-world pitcher, Leeonel Pena, and told them the Muhfuggers need to win this upcoming game or armageddon will be upon us. The two proud Mexicans looked back at him with confidence and determination in their eyes and boldly predicted a win. They made good on their promise coming from a three run deficit to win.

Tonite's game was billed as the Muhfuggers versus the Spawn of Gary Ervin. Wesley Ervin is the son of Northrop Grumman Aeropace Systems president, Gary Ervin. Also on that team was active Poi Pounder and a great ball player, Kristen Barnes.

It was reported that Wes was taunting and flexing his muscles at Muhfugger players in the cafeteria the day of the game. That led the taunted Muhfuggers to think, "Wes never used to talk shit before!!"

Wesley Ervin's Don't Know team was up by three runs going into the sixth and last inning.

The home team Muhfugger's defense shut down their opponents offense, returning three batters back to the dugout behind Leeonel's brilliant pitching. Now, all the MFs had to do was to overcome the 3 run deficit in the bottom of the sixth and last inning. DK shut out the MF offense the last two innings, how in god's green earth are they gonna get four runs to win?? The drama was thick and it was do or die time.

"We are fags!! We may lose this game!!" ran through the minds of the MF.

The incredible shrinking Jeremy Sanders, who seem to have many girl pals (according to his Facebook and that we could have stocked our team with), played another stellar game at third, kept the Muhfugger spirits up. He cheered his MF teammates on and told them not to give up.

Rico was up first. The El Salvadorean latin lover played a MVP type of game tonite with his outfield play and a homerun earlier, hit a double. Still down three runs, no outs.

Next up was blond bombshell, Tammy Cobb. Tammy claimed she was blind as a bat last nite because she was playing without contacts. Tammy hit a single and drove the fleet footed latino home. Two runs to tie, three to win. No outs.

Always reliable batter and soon to be paddling soon, Leeonel Pena, who was playing his third game tonite, was next. Always calm at the plate, he crushed one into right field for a double, sending Tammy home. One run to tie, two to win, no outs.

Ashley, our substitute who was called on short notice and who the MF are very grateful she showed, tried her utmost best to get on base but grounded out to short. No harm, good try. Still one run to tie, two to win, 1 out.

Caesar was next. Still trying to shake the cobwebs from a long retirement from softball, hit for a double between the third baseman and short. The hit sent Leeonel home. Rico was sent in to pinch run for the creaky legged older man. Tie game, one out,one run to win.

Deej was up next. Deej got on base regularly tonite. When Deej ran the bases, it looked like two armadillos fighting inside her shirt. Her granite hard lower back and torso she got from paddling enabled her to garner a hit, advanced pinch runner Rico "the latin lover" Rivas who belly slid into third. Still tie game, one out, one run to win.

Next up, Brian, "don't call me Ace Ventura" Kellough needed only to drive Rico in for the win. He went up to the plate with his reliable wooden bat and a cheesy smile. Most people who know Brian, I'm sure, cringe when he goes up with that friggin wood bat. We all know that that skinny SOB can hit homeruns all day if he used a friggin' state of the art aluminum bat!! But all he needed was a base hit to drive Rico in for the run.

That he did as he hit a blooper over the second baseman. Run scored. The Muhfuggers win!!

The jubilant Muhfuggers thrust their arms into the air and screamed ecstatically. Hugging each other and laughing like a pack of wild hyenas on laughing gas.

The Muhfuggers would like to thank Ashley Kowach for coming out of retirement and stepping in for the female players that were unable to attend. Thanks Ashley. Hope you finish the last few games with us!! Also, you sure look like you can paddle!!

Ashley Kowach

Everybody did a great job tonite. Yeah, the normal balls falling out of gloves and comical errors were still being made but the Muhfuggers came from behind to win. So who gives a shat!! How the hell did they Muhfugging do it? I'm pretty sure their opponents just Don't Know!!

Post Game Interview

The Spawn of Big Daddy Ervin

Wes Ervin

Late tomorrow night, the Muhfuggers will play current Poi Pounder Wes Ervin's B-League team, Don't Know. Wesley Ervin is the spawn of someone you absolutely do not want to park in his parking space. Wesley's dad is the president of Northrop Grumman's Aerospace Systems, Gary Ervin.

Could Wes tell on us and possibly get us all fired if we annihilate his Don't Know team? The Muhfugger coaches got together and pondered the possibility of us ending our careers here at Northrop Grumman if we did indeed destroy his team. After hours of deliberating and a case of hefenweisen, they all agreed...DIE WES' TEAM!!! DIE!!

Wes is a currently a Poi Pounder and has been a Poi Pounder for years. His father use to show up to the games and watch his athletic son play. Any proud father would too if their son plays softball the way Wes plays. Wes is known as the White Lightning, because of his blinding speed when he runs the bases. He is also the other half of the Jumping Beans with Muhfugger Brian Kellough. The hyper young duo two bounce around the dance floor during parties at Sully's....like jumping beans.

The Muhfuggers lost to the Pride of the Phillipines (Ferdinand) last week, but this week, we must slay Don't Know and it's spawn of Gary Ervin!!

Muhfugger SpotLight - Eric E.

Muhfugger (real name): Theodore Eric E. (Hawaiian/Filipino, with a Japanese Last Name)

Jersey Name (if we ordered jerseys): BAKDAFUGUP (Back The F#@! Up)

Hometown: Gardena, CA. via Wahiawa, HI.

Birthday: 04/20/70

Favorite Positions (softball): Catcher (Best view in Coed Softball)

Why do you play softball? : I was sent by HR to keep an eye on Caesar

Favorite drink or beverage? Guinness (Dark beer rules)

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? Being Big Daddy

Mufugger to my 6 month old foster daughter

Do you wear a cup for protection? What size? No need for a cup. I was fixed long time ago.

What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): Ferdi's Big Boombah Bat (Don't tell anyone, it's a secret)

Do you finish with one hand or two? One hand, the other hand has things to do.
After you hit, does it normally come off the bat as a dribbler, like a rocket or a shotgun? You are going, straight to Hell, for asking this question

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? How one uses it. Sometimes, you don't have a choice in the size.

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? While pitching, I got hit in the stomach and I had a perfect softball size circle as a bruise

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? glide in. In my old age and weight, hitting it hard can put you on the DL

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? Trimmed for infield, I am too scared to go to bare dirt

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? Hit the homerun, then got married soon after. (File that in the Lessons Learned' Folder)

Have you ever mooned, flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Not in public
(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? T - It's a natural instinct, the moment you are born.

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you: (E) - Let 'Rocki' (The 2004 Version) handle it
A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"
B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.
C) Either A, B or C is correct.
D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction & vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.

Muhfuggers Takes it Up the Middle

The Muhfuggers returned from a two week layoff and lost in a much anticipated game against Ferdinand Karandang's Up the Middle team, 7-14.

The Muhfuggers had four girls call in to say they were unable to play causing panic with the coaches to try and replace them.

Muhfuggers - 4 2 0 0 1 - 7

Up the Middle - 2 3 3 6 - 14

A somber pitcher and pride of Mexico, Leeonel Pena, pitched only two innings due to soreness in his elbow .

The game was pretty close. Pitcher Leeonel Pena started and pitched two innings and kept UTM batters at bay. Leeonel's arm was bothering him, so relief pitcher Eric E. came in for an inning. In the fourth inning, coach Rico Rivas wanted to try his hand at pitching. The Up The Middle batters must have woke up, because they scored six innings on the MFs!!

"It was a pretty close game until the fourth inning!! Who the f*ck put the third pitcher in!!" said coach and Pride of Mexico runner-up Pedro "Puppet" Frias

Coach Frias

Even though the Muhfuggers could not catch up to Up the Middle in the later innings, current and former Poi Pounders Leeonel Pena and Pedro Frias still said they had more fun losing in this game than if they played in a Poi Pounder game where they always kick everybody's ass!!

The Muhfuggers were short handed on girl players. Tammy Cobb, Ana Guttierrez, Aileen Aranda and Leslie Castellano wrote/called in to the team coaches to say they were unavailable to play in tonite's game.

OMG!! Four players?? The coaching staff scrambled to contact subs Sarah Ahrendes and Precious Albright. However, no replies came in from either sub, not even the emergency subs were available.

Charlie, the "Ultimate Human Speciman", came through and brought in a female ringer player named Ronica.

Ahhh, one more. One more girl to get the maximum 4 girls to play. Who else?? More calls went out. Ceez called up former Poi Pounders, but most was not available. Everybody but long time retired Poi Pounder, Arlene Dizon. "Oh boy! I would love to. But you know I can’t play for real."

Everything was set. However, on the way to the game, Pedro called in to say that his lady love, Leslie was ill and was not able to play. Ay muy chingon!! We were short one more female player. Where the heck are we going to get another player on such short notice?

They had to only look to the empty stands to find a young woman with a cup of beer in her hand. Blanquita!! Although the MFs could have legally played with only three girls, Blanquita was asked to play. We figured we may need help in the outfield and maybe a fourth girl might save the other girls from going up to bat a million times.