Muhfuggers/Poi Pounders Medaled in Long Beach

Dragon head on dragon boat in the 2009 Viewsonic Long Beach Dragon Boat Festival

Thousands of DB racers and spectators came to Marine Stadium in Long Beach, CA for comraderie, the great California weather and a great weekend of dragon boat racing.

Game faced Rico, Ceez and Jeremy with fellow Space Dragons awaiting their turn to compete in the Men's (open) race.

The Water Muhfuggers competed and medaled in the 2009 Viewsonic Long Beach Dragon Boat Festival on the weekend of August 1st and 2nd.

Brian Kellough waiting to race.

They trained for months and could not wait to compete against teams from all over the United States, China, Trinidad and Australia.

From left to right: Jeremy Sander, Rico Rivas, Deadra Doctolero, Jeremy Carver, Brian Kellough, Kieren Cobb, Ferdinand Karandang, Caesar, Tammy Cobb and Blanca Pena.

Missing: Arlene Dizon.

Jeremy, Deadra, Brian, Blanca and Caesar represented the Red team brought home the bronze against some tough competition in the division A 200m finals with a time of 00:52:58. Of the seven teams that qualified for the finals, Long Beach teams took the top 3 spots in the finals, leaving four Northern California teams in their wakes.

Rico, Jeremy Carver and Tammy Cobb garnered a silver medal coming in second in the 500m Mixed IIC divisiion with a time of 02:30:41. They battled hard and looked like they were going to get the gold, but was edged out by the surging MLIS Predators, a team from Trinidad.

Arlene Dizon and Ferdinand Karandang got gold medals in a hard fought race in the 200m B division finals with a time of 00:56:52. They beat out another Long Beach based team, the Electric Dragons Yellow, by 00:26 seconds for the gold!! The first place finish made them 200m B division champions the biggest division in the tournament with 35 teams.

Never mind. We found Arlene!!

It was Ferdinand's first ever tournament. He only had about a month of training, but he showed why he is known as the pride of the Phillipines that weekend. Ferdie in his first tournament, already bought two carbon fiber paddles!! He is the first on the team to purchase a Merlin and a Grey Owl carbon fiber paddle. He will collect paddles like he collects softball bats!!

The Pride of the Phillipines

It was a great weekend of racing. Although the Muhfugger Space Dragons did not medal in their other races such as the Women's, Men's and Master's races, they were very happy to win medals in the mixed divisions and just having fun out there.

Some links: From the CNN website http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-308470

Next for the Muhfuggers/Pois is a tournament at Lake Gregory/Lake Arrowhead, San Francisco and a possible tournament at Lake Las Vegas.

See What You Folks Done!! : )

Seems like whenever the Poi Pounders and Muhfuggers go out into the real world, we corrupt the world with our brand of work ethic and craziness!!

This e-mail is from Rick Ikemoto. One of the founding members of the Space Dragons Paddling team. He is now retired from coaching the Space Dragons but is now co-captain and coach of a junior high dragonboat team, the POSERS. Don't

"Caesar, Thanks for the kind words, but it was dedicated people like you that made the team. I just sent out the emails. I remember, your leadership of the "poi pounders" is what started the dynasty for the SD. We were just a rec team prior to that. You guys have done so much for the team. The Space Dragons have become a team to be reckoned with and respected through the dragon boat community. It is great to see. Good job Ceez. I am proud to say I am a Space Dragon....,Rick "

I responded to Rick's e-mail. I told him it was not the Poi Pounders that created the dynasty known as the Space Dragons. There are people on the team like Joe and Wade, that truly made them a Dragon Boat powerhouse. But we, the Poi Pounders/Muhfuggers, were instrumental, in some way or another, in turning the team into a reputable "Paddle Hard...Party Hard" type team. It was nice for the Poi/MF to get props.

Poi and Muhfuggers....go forth and CORRUPT!! LOL!!

Cz

Muhfugger Spotlight - Rico "the Latin Lover" Rivas

Picture to be inserted here

Muhfugger (real name): Ricardo Rivas

Jersey Name (if we ordered jerseys): Rico Suave

Hometown: "Whittier where the girls are prettier" or "Whittier, one key stroke away from being $hittier"

Birthday: Nov. 1981

Favorite Positions: Whatever turns her on..... I mean the outfield.

Why do you play softball? To hangout with cool people and get a workout. Oh yeah, the girls!

Favorite drink or beverage? crown and 7

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? I paddle with the Space Dragons

Do you wear a cup for protection? What size? Nah, I free ball it.
What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): I stick to the standard regulation bats

Do you finish with one hand or two? Two, don't want my bat flying and hurting anyone.

After you hit it, does it normally come off the bat as a dribbler, like a rocket or a shotgun? In between rocket and shotgun! (rotgun)

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? Definitely how you use it but you won't get a return trip to the plate using a toothpick. lol

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? No facial balls but I did get hit by a ball above the knee last week. I shed a single tear and continued playing.

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? Depends on the play at the plate. 90% of the time hit it hard

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? Trimmed the infield don't, want to any cuts..

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? It has been awhile but I am pretty sure I walked to 1st. :o(

Have you ever mooned, flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Si, No(walking into a room naked count?), yes, while surfing my board shorts came undone once....

(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? T at heart but I also need some sort of A to grind on when I am on the dance floor.

If you are a cowboy/cowgirl, you :
a) like to ride your animal like a hard bucking bronco.
b) like a nice easy ride. Nice and steady. As long as you get there.
c) like to pull on the reins tight and ride 'er fast and hard.
d) like to rope your catch and tie 'er up!!
A few minutes of C, followed by B if there is time.... lol

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you:
A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"
B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.
C) Either A, B or C is correct.
D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.
C. because We "f*ck Up" as a team

Leeonel wins another championship with the Poi Pounders

The Pride of Mexico...Leeonel Pena

Ho hum. Leeonel Pena got another Northrop Grumman A League championship with the Poi Pounders. Leeonel and his Poi Pounders beat Shark Infested Waters 16-9. He did this after playing with the Muhfuggers in their semi final loss, in the Poi Pounder semi final and the Northrop Grumman A League finals.

He led the Poi Pounders to a third championship. Leeonel has been an important cog on the moster of a machine called the Poi Pounders. With his accurate pitches and ability to confuse batters, he is arguably the league's MVP.

He disclosed that even though the Poi Pounders won the championship for the third time, there was a lack of celebration from his teammates. Perhaps, the Poi Pounder already established themselves as a dynasty, winning a championship was all in a days work.

Muhfuggers was overheard saying stuff like, "Leeonel, take that musubi out of your mouth when you go up to bat for us!!" , "Leeonel, take the Muhfuggers to the championship too!! U bested!! "

Leeonel returns next year to do double duty...as a Poi Pounder and a Muhfugger..and perhaps another pinche championship.

Water-Fugger Women win Bronze Medals in Vancouver!!

Water Fuggers in Vancouver!!

left to right: Ceez, Tammess, Rico, Deej, Jeremy Black, Jeremy White

The Water-Fuggers went to Vancouver and faced some of the best Dragon Boat teams on the west coast as well as teams who will be competing in the 2009 World Championships in Prague of the Czech Republic.

Tammy Cobb and Deadra Doctolero came back with bronze medals in the Recreation A Women's division. They came in third place behind another Long Beach Team, LARD and a Canadian team.

Tammess and Deej with their Bronze Medals

Caesar Longboy, Deadra Doctolero and Jeremy Sanders on the Space Dragons Red team did not get medals, but they help catapult the team into racing with the Competitive B teams. That means they were amongst the top 16 teams in the tournament. That is friggin good considering the competition. They came in seventh in their division championship. Also, in one of their races, they paddled their asses off for a club record time of 2 minutes flat. Fricken A!!

Red Team Race

Red team is 2nd to last team on the right.

Rico Rivas, Jeremy Carver and Tammy Cobb nearly got a Bronze in the Rec A Consolation bracket. They needed first place to get the bronze but lost to Sync or Swim of Portland, Oregon by 0.3 seconds. During the weekend, the Blue team also posted a Blue Team record of 2:06.

The Men came in eight place in the Open Championships (Men's Race). Even though they posted good times, their competition was too friggin tough. Some of those teams are headed to the Prague world championships. No problem, they now know they can hang with the big boys!!

The Space Dragons almost got a bronze medal in the Visitor's Cup race, but fell short, coming in fourth place.

Also, the Space Dragons took 6th in a grueling, never tried before, 2000m race. The Space Dragons had raced in 1000m races, but never a 2000m race. They had fun doing it.

"That was easy!! I would rather do the 2000m race than the 500m races!!" Said Tammy of her 2000m race.

Dragon Boats Ready for a weekend of racing the next day

It was a great venue. Lots of people showed up. Not the 90, 000 people they expected like last year, perhaps the rain had something to do with the attendance. It was still memorable. The Space Dragons were featured on the Vancouver news and the Space Dragons now know how they fare against top notched competition. "We need to work harder!!" said Space Dragons captain Wade Liu.

Quote of the weekend: "I have more races?? DAMN!! I don't want to paddle anymore. I just want to drink at the beer garden!! " Rico Rivas on Sunday during the Championship races.

Muhfugger News!! Deadra Graduates with AA degree!!

Muhfugger Deadra Doctolero all smiles after graduation

Muhfugger catcher graduated from the University of Phoenix to get her AA degree. She will continue schooling to persue her Bachelor's degree.

Good job Deadra!! Keep up the good work!!

Come From Behind Win Propel Muhfuggers to the Playoffs

The Muhfuggers were behind one run going into the sixth and last inning. Rico "Suave" Rivas blasted a pitch into center field to score the go ahead run...which thrust the Muhfuggers into the playoffs in their first season. Final score...Muhfuggers - 19 3up3down - 18.

However, it was not that simple. The forfeit loss on Friday (the Waterfuggers are in Vancouver for a tournament), made it a three way tie for last. Only one team could go to the playoffs. Muhfugger and Coed league coordinator, Leeonel Pena, had to go thru the standings and calculate using complex algoritms to find out which team was deserving to go to the playoffs.

Are they in?? Manager Caesar Longboy texted coach Pedro Frias from Vancouver to find out if the MF are in the playoffs. Pedro texted back....yes!!

"Are you sure??" said Caesar. "Well, he said we have a game next week Tuesday"

"Nice!"

Muhfuggers come from behind to win!!

The Muhfuggers....Victorious!!

Don't Know - 0 2 4 2 4 0 - 12

MuhFuggers - 1 7 1 0 0 4 - 13

After last week's disappointing loss to Up the Middle, the Muhfuggers agreed that they had to win the next game. Manager Caesar Longboy approached baby faced coach Pedro Frias and all-world pitcher, Leeonel Pena, and told them the Muhfuggers need to win this upcoming game or armageddon will be upon us. The two proud Mexicans looked back at him with confidence and determination in their eyes and boldly predicted a win. They made good on their promise coming from a three run deficit to win.

Tonite's game was billed as the Muhfuggers versus the Spawn of Gary Ervin. Wesley Ervin is the son of Northrop Grumman Aeropace Systems president, Gary Ervin. Also on that team was active Poi Pounder and a great ball player, Kristen Barnes.

It was reported that Wes was taunting and flexing his muscles at Muhfugger players in the cafeteria the day of the game. That led the taunted Muhfuggers to think, "Wes never used to talk shit before!!"

Wesley Ervin's Don't Know team was up by three runs going into the sixth and last inning.

The home team Muhfugger's defense shut down their opponents offense, returning three batters back to the dugout behind Leeonel's brilliant pitching. Now, all the MFs had to do was to overcome the 3 run deficit in the bottom of the sixth and last inning. DK shut out the MF offense the last two innings, how in god's green earth are they gonna get four runs to win?? The drama was thick and it was do or die time.

"We are fags!! We may lose this game!!" ran through the minds of the MF.

The incredible shrinking Jeremy Sanders, who seem to have many girl pals (according to his Facebook and that we could have stocked our team with), played another stellar game at third, kept the Muhfugger spirits up. He cheered his MF teammates on and told them not to give up.

Rico was up first. The El Salvadorean latin lover played a MVP type of game tonite with his outfield play and a homerun earlier, hit a double. Still down three runs, no outs.

Next up was blond bombshell, Tammy Cobb. Tammy claimed she was blind as a bat last nite because she was playing without contacts. Tammy hit a single and drove the fleet footed latino home. Two runs to tie, three to win. No outs.

Always reliable batter and soon to be paddling soon, Leeonel Pena, who was playing his third game tonite, was next. Always calm at the plate, he crushed one into right field for a double, sending Tammy home. One run to tie, two to win, no outs.

Ashley, our substitute who was called on short notice and who the MF are very grateful she showed, tried her utmost best to get on base but grounded out to short. No harm, good try. Still one run to tie, two to win, 1 out.

Caesar was next. Still trying to shake the cobwebs from a long retirement from softball, hit for a double between the third baseman and short. The hit sent Leeonel home. Rico was sent in to pinch run for the creaky legged older man. Tie game, one out,one run to win.

Deej was up next. Deej got on base regularly tonite. When Deej ran the bases, it looked like two armadillos fighting inside her shirt. Her granite hard lower back and torso she got from paddling enabled her to garner a hit, advanced pinch runner Rico "the latin lover" Rivas who belly slid into third. Still tie game, one out, one run to win.

Next up, Brian, "don't call me Ace Ventura" Kellough needed only to drive Rico in for the win. He went up to the plate with his reliable wooden bat and a cheesy smile. Most people who know Brian, I'm sure, cringe when he goes up with that friggin wood bat. We all know that that skinny SOB can hit homeruns all day if he used a friggin' state of the art aluminum bat!! But all he needed was a base hit to drive Rico in for the run.

That he did as he hit a blooper over the second baseman. Run scored. The Muhfuggers win!!

The jubilant Muhfuggers thrust their arms into the air and screamed ecstatically. Hugging each other and laughing like a pack of wild hyenas on laughing gas.

The Muhfuggers would like to thank Ashley Kowach for coming out of retirement and stepping in for the female players that were unable to attend. Thanks Ashley. Hope you finish the last few games with us!! Also, you sure look like you can paddle!!

Ashley Kowach

Everybody did a great job tonite. Yeah, the normal balls falling out of gloves and comical errors were still being made but the Muhfuggers came from behind to win. So who gives a shat!! How the hell did they Muhfugging do it? I'm pretty sure their opponents just Don't Know!!

Post Game Interview

The Spawn of Big Daddy Ervin

Wes Ervin

Late tomorrow night, the Muhfuggers will play current Poi Pounder Wes Ervin's B-League team, Don't Know. Wesley Ervin is the spawn of someone you absolutely do not want to park in his parking space. Wesley's dad is the president of Northrop Grumman's Aerospace Systems, Gary Ervin.

Could Wes tell on us and possibly get us all fired if we annihilate his Don't Know team? The Muhfugger coaches got together and pondered the possibility of us ending our careers here at Northrop Grumman if we did indeed destroy his team. After hours of deliberating and a case of hefenweisen, they all agreed...DIE WES' TEAM!!! DIE!!

Wes is a currently a Poi Pounder and has been a Poi Pounder for years. His father use to show up to the games and watch his athletic son play. Any proud father would too if their son plays softball the way Wes plays. Wes is known as the White Lightning, because of his blinding speed when he runs the bases. He is also the other half of the Jumping Beans with Muhfugger Brian Kellough. The hyper young duo two bounce around the dance floor during parties at Sully's....like jumping beans.

The Muhfuggers lost to the Pride of the Phillipines (Ferdinand) last week, but this week, we must slay Don't Know and it's spawn of Gary Ervin!!

Muhfugger SpotLight - Eric E.

Muhfugger (real name): Theodore Eric E. (Hawaiian/Filipino, with a Japanese Last Name)

Jersey Name (if we ordered jerseys): BAKDAFUGUP (Back The F#@! Up)

Hometown: Gardena, CA. via Wahiawa, HI.

Birthday: 04/20/70

Favorite Positions (softball): Catcher (Best view in Coed Softball)

Why do you play softball? : I was sent by HR to keep an eye on Caesar

Favorite drink or beverage? Guinness (Dark beer rules)

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? Being Big Daddy

Mufugger to my 6 month old foster daughter

Do you wear a cup for protection? What size? No need for a cup. I was fixed long time ago.

What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): Ferdi's Big Boombah Bat (Don't tell anyone, it's a secret)

Do you finish with one hand or two? One hand, the other hand has things to do.
After you hit, does it normally come off the bat as a dribbler, like a rocket or a shotgun? You are going, straight to Hell, for asking this question

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? How one uses it. Sometimes, you don't have a choice in the size.

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? While pitching, I got hit in the stomach and I had a perfect softball size circle as a bruise

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? glide in. In my old age and weight, hitting it hard can put you on the DL

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? Trimmed for infield, I am too scared to go to bare dirt

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? Hit the homerun, then got married soon after. (File that in the Lessons Learned' Folder)

Have you ever mooned, flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Not in public
(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? T - It's a natural instinct, the moment you are born.

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you: (E) - Let 'Rocki' (The 2004 Version) handle it
A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"
B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.
C) Either A, B or C is correct.
D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction & vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.

Muhfuggers Takes it Up the Middle

The Muhfuggers returned from a two week layoff and lost in a much anticipated game against Ferdinand Karandang's Up the Middle team, 7-14.

The Muhfuggers had four girls call in to say they were unable to play causing panic with the coaches to try and replace them.

Muhfuggers - 4 2 0 0 1 - 7

Up the Middle - 2 3 3 6 - 14

A somber pitcher and pride of Mexico, Leeonel Pena, pitched only two innings due to soreness in his elbow .

The game was pretty close. Pitcher Leeonel Pena started and pitched two innings and kept UTM batters at bay. Leeonel's arm was bothering him, so relief pitcher Eric E. came in for an inning. In the fourth inning, coach Rico Rivas wanted to try his hand at pitching. The Up The Middle batters must have woke up, because they scored six innings on the MFs!!

"It was a pretty close game until the fourth inning!! Who the f*ck put the third pitcher in!!" said coach and Pride of Mexico runner-up Pedro "Puppet" Frias

Coach Frias

Even though the Muhfuggers could not catch up to Up the Middle in the later innings, current and former Poi Pounders Leeonel Pena and Pedro Frias still said they had more fun losing in this game than if they played in a Poi Pounder game where they always kick everybody's ass!!

The Muhfuggers were short handed on girl players. Tammy Cobb, Ana Guttierrez, Aileen Aranda and Leslie Castellano wrote/called in to the team coaches to say they were unavailable to play in tonite's game.

OMG!! Four players?? The coaching staff scrambled to contact subs Sarah Ahrendes and Precious Albright. However, no replies came in from either sub, not even the emergency subs were available.

Charlie, the "Ultimate Human Speciman", came through and brought in a female ringer player named Ronica.

Ahhh, one more. One more girl to get the maximum 4 girls to play. Who else?? More calls went out. Ceez called up former Poi Pounders, but most was not available. Everybody but long time retired Poi Pounder, Arlene Dizon. "Oh boy! I would love to. But you know I can’t play for real."

Everything was set. However, on the way to the game, Pedro called in to say that his lady love, Leslie was ill and was not able to play. Ay muy chingon!! We were short one more female player. Where the heck are we going to get another player on such short notice?

They had to only look to the empty stands to find a young woman with a cup of beer in her hand. Blanquita!! Although the MFs could have legally played with only three girls, Blanquita was asked to play. We figured we may need help in the outfield and maybe a fourth girl might save the other girls from going up to bat a million times.

Lovable Ferdie or Public Enemy #1 ??

The Pride of the Phillipines

June 2, 2009, 6pm at Alondra Park, the Muhfuggers will be going against the Poi Pounder's sister team, Up the Middle and it's all world outfielder and the pride of the Phillipines, Manong Ferdinand Karandang.

Muhfuggers should remember that Ferdinand helped the Muhfuggers lose their first game of the season. Ferdinand decided to help Mayhem by offering his services. Although his batting power may have been hampered using Muhfugger Brian's Kellough's wooden bat, his defense is what pissed off the Muhfuggers in that game.

"That sumbitch was snagging all our flyballs out there ... that dirty bested!!" said one Muhfugger player.

"He's a fag!! Playing for that team and never coming out to try paddling!! I hate him and his tight baseball shorts!!" said another unhappy Muhfugger player who is about 5 feet tall and with big breasts and who wants to remain anonymous.

Muhfugger pitcher and Pride of Mexico, Leeonel Pena, has the undaunted task of facing the pride of the Phillipines.

Ferdie is known best as the guy the (coed) Poi Pounders was trying to recruit for years. Ferdinand wanted to, but felt obligated to play for the SelOuts (now Up the Middle). After an undisclosed amount of money and promises of women that would adore him, love him and shower him with unspeakable pleasures...he finally gave in, donned the black and gold and played for the Poi boys. Eventually, he played for the coed Poi Pounders.

Ferdie is also known as the buff Filipino star that spends most of his pesos every year on the newest, top of the line bat(s) that are on the market. The happy-go-lucky person is a good source for trying out new bats without buying them.

Even if you are an opposing player, he will gladly let you use one of his bats. Well, after he unrolls that big bag of bats that resembles ammo adorning Rambo's upper torso.

Ferdie attending the motherland's favorite pastime - Cock Fighting

Whether Ferdie's team win or loses, Ferdie will still be adored by the Muhfuggers and the Poi Pounders. And he will definitely get to display why he is the pride of the Phillipines.

Tuesday night, the Muhfuggers will try to try to neutralize Jet Li look-a-like (and equally as dangerous) Ferdinand Karandang, in an epic battle. Please bring out your friends and family to this historic event. The Muhfuggers need all the cheers and help we can get to topple Ferdinand and his myriad of bats. Oh, and sometimes tight baseball pants.

Ceez

Muhfugger Spotlight - Aileen Aranda

Muhfugger Aileen Aranda

Muhfugger (real name): Aileen Aranda
Jersey Name (if we ordered jerseys): Ai bend over

Hometown: la la land, ca

Birthday: November 27, 1979

Favorite Positions (softball): right field. or is that left field?
Why do you play softball? : so i can wear my pretty purple and pink gear! Most memorable experience (softball or otherwise)? when i told my mom i wasn't a virgin anymore. man, that was a bad idea.
Favorite drink or beverage? unsweetened ice tea
What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? i save lives everyday.

Do you wear a cup for protection? 2 cups. to protect the twins.

What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): my purple and pink bat! it's sooo pretty Do you finish with one hand or two? (swinging style) im not sure. i kind of don't remember because of the fear.

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? both. and im lucky lucky he's got both, right babe!?

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? yes, but it actually wasn't a ball. it was a lemon. my cousins and i were playing baseball with a stick and a lemon. i know, i know. we made due with what we had. anyway, my brother was at bat, or stick in this case, and he hit it. went straight and hit me in the nose. it was a total marsha brady moment.

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? i like it hard.

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? bare dirt, so nothing gets in the way.

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? i think i was too tired to play. sorry.
Have you ever mooned, flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? no, yes, and yes.

(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? yes, yes, yes, and yes. i mean yes and yes.

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you:

A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"

B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.

C) Either A, B or C is correct.

D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction & vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.

C. i dont want to get pummeled by my teammates. and i definitely dont want vaginal dryness.

Muhfugger Pets - Max

He's so cute!!

Pedro and Leslie picked up their doggie, Max, at the pound last week Thursday. They enjoyed their first weekend with him and absolutely loves him. If you got the time and the heart to rescue these cute animals from your local shelter, please do so. Good job Leslie and Pedro.

Perhaps if Pedro and Leslie could bring Max to the games, maybe Max and Ana's Little Ben can run around the field together.

Ceez

Looking For a Few Good Men!!

... and good women too!! The Space Dragons are looking for male paddlers to compete in Vancouver in June and Long Beach in August.

In Vancouver you will be able to see and compete against some world class dragon boat athletes from around the world. In the Long Beach tournament, you will be able to compete against some of the best west coast teams and teams from around the nation as well as international teams. teams from all over will be invading our home turf.

If you are interested, please let me know.

Ceez

Player Spotlight....Leslie Castellanos

Muhfugger (real name): Leslie Castellanos aka Carmen SanDiego!

Jersey Name (if we had ordered jerseys): I don’t have one! Make one up for me..

Hometown: Ingle-HOOD!

Birthday: December 20th

Favorite Positions (softball): Pedro knows ‘em. SHAU!

Why do you play softball? Is it ok to say I was bribed? Kidding..I just love me a Muhfugger!

Most memorable experience (softball or otherwise)? Can’t remember; please refer to next question.

Favorite drink or beverage? Jack n DIET Coke! Gotta stay trim..

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? Doin’ the school thing.

Do you wear a cup for protection? I always wear protection.

What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): I don’t think this applies to me...

Do you finish with one hand or two? (swinging style) Who swings when they finish?

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? BOTH!

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? By balls and sticks! A volleyball. and a hockey stick.

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? Huh?

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? Gardening and landscaping questions don’t apply.

(Editor's note: Pedro!!)

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? On my last date, I got to Home plate and then decided to go around the field again; for kicks!

Have you ever mooned or flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Yes, Yes and Noo..I wouldn’t want to send the wrong message.

(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? Muscular arms holding a six pack, SHAU!

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you:

A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"

B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.

C) Either A, B or C is correct.

D) Get mad, throw equipment and pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.

A)

Muhfuggers Win Their First!!

Friggin Muhfuggers !! Last night, the Muhfuggers won their first game of the season in a battle of the winless teams. The MF's outscored 3 Up 3 Down, 18-10 Tuesday night at Alondra Park field #2 .

"Awrite we got our win!! We don't need to win anymore!!" somebody yelled from the dugout.

The MF's came out with bats a blazing and a much more improved defense. They took it up a notch and played exceptionally well especially when Pedro's mean but pretty boss came to cheer for an inning or two.

Leslie Castellanos likes winning!!

As I walked up to the field, I noticed we had to walk past the 3Up and 3Down dugout to get to the Muhfugger dugout on the visitor's side. Deadra and I looked at their players and we thought, "these guys look like they can play!!" Their players really looked like ballplayers.

I thought we were going to get our asses handed to us again. We were without big Muhfuggers Eric E., Charlie "the Ultimate Specimen" Hammond and Paul Castellano. What was worse, we had to play with five girls and five guys!! (the normal defensive lineup consists of 6 guys and 4 girls).

I asked Pedro "Puppet" Frias if he had the defensive lineup ready for tonite. He modestly said, "I'll come up with something". That was good enough for me!! He tinkered with the defensive line up at work all day. He put aside surfing the internet, checking his stocks and playing Spider Solitaire just to mastermind the demise of 3up 3down and get the Muhfuggers out from the cellar of the B league standings.

The girls stood out tonite. For one, all the girls got on base tonite. "Little Orphan" Ana, voted the games MVP, blasted a shot into right centerfield and raced home for the homerun. Mouths were agaped at the display of power from such a tiny little girl. She may wrest Brian's power-to-weight ratio title from him if she continues to hit like that.

Ana's single...her "HIT" guys!! But she is single!!

Tammy would have had a homerun too, but the runs she hit in exceeded the 7 run limit for the inning. Tammy's child, Kieren got hurt while bicycling behind the dugout while her mommy played left field. Kieren escaped with a scratched finger and forearm and stopped crying after Deej soothed her with kindness and love and I threatened to bite her boo-boo.

Since Tammy and Ana had a homerun a piece, they have only room for one more HR. If they exceed the two HR rule, they are CUT!!

Brian could have scored a homerun with his wooden bat too, but put on the brakes at third base. He thought there was a homerun drinking rule. "Oh well, someone said it! Otherwise I would have a homerun right now!" said the disappointed first baseman.

Deadra hit like a little monster, geting on base twice. One of them was a baseline shot over third base. "I have anger issues today!!" said the big breasted catcher, who had a rough day at work. She managed to get two singles and a couple of scores today.

Aileen and Leslie got on base too. Aileen and Leslie may be the least experienced players on the team, but they got better everytime they went up! By the end of the game, they were swinging the bats with purpose!! "Pedro!! make sure she eats good tonite!!" said someone from the dugout.

Brian yelled at Aileen after she struck out, "What happened?? We went to the batting cages and you were fine!!" Aileen retorted, "Yeah I know, but now everybody's looking at me!!"

Aileen's base hit

Pitcher Leeonel Pena pitched a great game. Out of his bag of tricks, he pulled out his new weapon, a knuckle ball that confused the shit out of enemy batters. "Man that ball was doing this!!", said shortstop Pedro Frias making a curvy motion with his hand.

Jeremy Sanders was put at thirdbase last night. He did quite well and coaches may just leave him there. "I just don't know what to do at third base!!" he said with a grin. We had a good laff, because we knew he had skills and was just trying to be modest.

Jeremy's nice sized knot on his leg from playing 3rd base

Last night was outfielder and co-manager, Rico "Suave" Rivas debut. He really made a statement that he is an important cog in the machine which is known as the Muhfuggers. Rico snagged pop flys and showed great batting skills last night. Most notable was the diving catch he made in the outfield that made me cringe. He could have gotten hurt!! How the heck is he gonna paddle if he is hurt!! After that spectacular catch, the Mexican muhfuggers in the dugout forgave the El Salvadorean's boo-ing comment of Mexico's finest, Pedro Frias or Leeonel Pena.

Rico single hit

I thought it was a great game. Even though I am injury reserved, I told Deej that I am so excited about the win, that it was as if I played too. Next game, after two weeks off, is June 2nd @ 6:00pm versus Elizabeth Stephenson's and Ferdie's, Up the Middle team!! DIE UTM!!!

Hitting Tips

Want to power hit like Eric E.? Bomb the outfield like Leeonel and Paulie or show incredible power-to-weight-ratio like Brian?

Here is some batting tips from the DeMarini website:

1. What are the best exercises to increase hitting power? If you can physically do them, squats are one of the best exercises to increase hitting power. Your entire body will benefit from this powerful movement. If you can't do squats, try leg presses or weighted dips. They are great for developing power in triceps, chest, deltoids ... important muscles for hitting. Use compensatory training, i.e.: train with explosiveness! You're trying to increase your bat speed ... you need to train with explosive, fast movements rather than slow, deliberate training.

2. Accelerate the bat through the ball. You lose bat speed when the bat makes contact with the ball. The key is to accelerate as you are hitting the ball explode the bat through it!!

3. Maintain a loose grip on the bat. This will help you can gain 5 miles per hour of bat speed and 5-10 miles per hour of ball speed. Keep them hands loose cuz! Your body won't let you let go of the bat. If you have tension in your hands, it's going to cost you bat speed.

4. In slo-pitch softball, you must have a complete range of motion when you are hitting. You gotta have that bat back as far as you can get it because you want to get as much momentum going as you can. When that front foot comes down, that's your signal to go. This gives you as long a swing as possible. Don't give up the swing once you make contact - that's when you have to power it.

5. For training in the gym for strength, train 40 minutes per session at most. Concentrate on core exercises that train the major muscle groups. You can train three times a week and make sensational improvements.

6. Weight training: Here is a great general system to try that takes very little time and will work wonders for you: 2 times per week do dumbbell bench presses, 2 sets of 8. Followed by dips, 2 sets to 12. When you can do 12, add weight via a weight belt. Follow that with 2 sets of 8 military press (dumbbells, followed by 2 sets of eight dumbbell rows, next chin ups (palms up), End it with bicep curls and you're done!

7. When making contact with the ball, do not lose site of it. Keep your eyes on that little white ball and you will kill it!

8. Don't forget to get into a bad mood before a game. When you go up to bat, don't be nervous, get angry and focus all your energy on nailing that ball over the fence.

Editor's note: #8 goes against team policy, but when you are at the plate....be pissed off like a ____(fill in the blank) _____!!!

Leeonel Proud to be Mexican!!

Loco Muhfugger Leeonel Pena cranks out a single as Pancho Villa.

Player Spotlight....Ana

Muhfugger: Ana Gutierrez

Jersey Name: Trampalina

Hometown: Oxnard, Cali

Birthday: April 27th

Favorite Positions (softball): Outfield (right side is the tight side)

Why do you play softball? : To show off my non-skills.

Most memorable experience (softball or otherwise)? When I got my head slammed into a wooden post at Sully's. Didn't realize dancing was so dangerous!!

Favorite drink or beverage? Lately, I've been on a Jack & Coke binge.

What you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers? Drink my ass off at the Northend

Do you wear a cup for protection? Yes…C cups

What wood/bat do you swing? (bat type and size): The juiced up one. My baby yokes don't give me a lot of pop, so I need all the help I can get.

Do you finish with one hand or two? (swinging style) Two, I think.

What is more important to you? The size of the bat or how one uses it? If any girl has told you that size doesn't matter…they're lying!

Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls? No crazy injuries…just bumps and bruises.

When sliding into home, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in? I don't slide…I'm escared!

When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield, or grow it wild as outfield rough? I did bare dirt once…that freakin' hurt! So now I trim for the infield.

On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play? I hit a homerun. Guys are easy.

Have you ever mooned or flashed anyone or went skinny dipping? Si, no, si.

(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack? I love to put my hands on both!

When you or a Muhfugger "f*cks Up" out in the field, you:A) Laugh at the person then tell the person "nice try!!"B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.C) Either A, B or C is correct.D) Get mad, throw equipment, pout …then get pummeled by your teammates, get kicked off the team for violating team rules and then have erectile dysfunction & vaginal dryness just for acting like an A-Hole.
Is that why I occassionally have vaginal dryness? It all makes sense now!!

MUHFUGGERS SUCK IN SEASON OPENER!!

2009 Muhfuggers

Missing: Rico Rivas, Leslie Castellanos, Precious Albright, Sarah Ahrendes

But they were okay with it. There was a lot of lessons learned in Tuesday night's 31-13 blow out loss to Mayhem. Coaches got a chance to see how different players play and how to utilize them for next week's game. More importantly, it was a chance to see if this Muhfugger team can handle a good ol' ass kicking loss. Nobody threw a fit when players struck out or when pop flys got misjudge(often). So nobody needed to be kicked off the team. They were in good spirits throughout the entire game.

Leeonel Pena Mexican baseball outfit

If anyone was to look at the Muhfugger roster, it would have shivers running up and down their spines looking at some of the talent. People from other teams have said, that this team is too good to be in the B league. However, not even all these "big gun for hire" players could stop the bleeding inflicted by their opponents.

Brian's idea to use a wooden bat during the game still was enforced. As their opponents scored multiple runs on the Muhfugger's anemic defense, others decided to forego the notion and returned to their aluminum bats. But it was still to no avail.

"They scored 7 runs again??" said Deej about Mayhem scoring the maximum 7 runs per inning for the second straight inning.

The Muhfuggers didn't necessarily come to win, they planned to have fun night. Pitcher Leeonel Pena, showed his pride for his culture and people during Cinco De Mayo, pitched in a sombrero and serape. Tammy, the blond bombshell, showed up and played in a see-thru fish net outfit top.

"Tammy!! You look like a nice lookin' hooker!!" Someone yelled from the dugout.

Pedro Frias at bat

Tuesday night had its moments. Ana's dog, Little Ben, got loose and the game was put on hold while both teams had to chase her down.

Leeonel Pena played every inning that he was in dressed in a sombrero and a serape? WTF is that shit??? Whatever. That was a great idea to start the season.

Next week's game, Aileen Aranda-Kellough, wants to do a 80's theme. Okay, does that mean players will look like Paula Abdul, Pat Benatar and the Flock of Seagulls?

Brian!! You are suppose to bring a wooden bat!! Not a wooden paddle!!

Player Spotlight....Deadra Doctolero

Deej

Deadra...Deej...Mama Poi...Aunty...she answers to many names. She has been around softball for a long time. Deadra was a Poi Pounder for years. Deej has played as a Poi Pounder even longer than Papa Poi himself. She retired from the Poi Pounders two years ago. But she returns to the dusty diamond at Alondra Park as a .....Muhfugger.

Likes: Macaroni Salad, Pad Si Yu(sp?) noodles, pizza from Rock Bottom, American Idol, love movies, fancy labeled purses.

Dislikes: Almost everything. One of Deej's famous sayings is: "I don't like that!!"

MuhFugger:
Deej Doctolero

Jersey Name:
Original: SuSu Girl

Hometown:
Waipahu, Hawaii

Birthday:
Unknown


Favorite Position(s) (Oh grow up!!):
66 (oh, mean for softball?) catcher….dream spot 2nd base (lol!) I know right?

Why do you play softball?
It was something to do 13 years ago….

Most memorable experience (softball or otherwise)?
Running to 2nd base and getting hit in the stomach with an oncoming ball….and falling past the base…..then Ceez comes running screaming “the baby!”


Favorite drink or beverage?
A strawberry shake from Carl’s Jr. except it has 770 calories….A-Boo


What do you do when not playing softball with the Muhfuggers?
Paddle, paddle, paddle, and study my east off for my degree….oh, and cuddle with Ceez


When you hit it, you go for placement or you put it anywhere?
Hell if I even hit I am happy where ever it goes…


Do you finish with one hand or two?
I dunno but I know how many hands Ceez finishes with…


Any injury from being struck by soft balls? Or ever been hit in the face by balls?
Softballs once…balls in general many a times…


When sliding, you prefer to hit it hard or glide in?
I never slide…but I always help glide it in…


When you trim the grass, do you cut it down to the bare dirt, trimmed for infield or grow it wild as outfield rough?
I’m like the mound there’s never any grass there….ever!


On your last date….did you get to first base? Got to second? Got to third? Hit the homerun? Or stayed in the dugout and not play?
I love homeruns! And then I do the “Pika-chu dance!”


Have you ever mooned or flashed anyone or went skinny dipping?
Yes!...Yes! and Yes! Good times!


(Men) T or A? (Women) You prefer muscular arms or a six pack?
I like a fatty kind of guy…who loves to eat!


When you or a Muhfugger “f*cks Up” out in the field, you:
A) Laugh at the person then tell the person “nice try!!”
B) Laugh at yourself, then tell yourself nice try.
C) Either A, B or C is correct.
D) Get mad, throw equipment, pout …then get kicked off the team for violating team rules and acting like an A-Hole.
Depending if I am PMS-ing…lol!

Muhfugger A Big Loser!!

The Muhfugger Softball Club promotes fun and fitness.

Water-Fugger Jeremy Sander was the last year's biggest loser for the Space Dragon paddling team. Weighing in at 205 lbs and finishing at 155 in about two months.

Jeremy Sanders - Before

Read below as posted on the Space Dragon Blog:

Biggest Loser Champion...How'd he f'ing do it?
Jeremy- last year's champion of the Biggest Loser, was kind enough to sit down and have an interview to discuss how he lost his weight, what motivated him, and what keeps him going.
Thanks Jerm!

First, I can't thank everyone enough for their encouragement and praise. I honestly don't feel like I have done anything that special, but some feel it was an amazing feat. So, my goal now is to help people see how I made the change, how I stayed motivated through the competition, and how continued to progress even after the competition. I also want people to realize that all the sacrifice and effort was ABSOLUTELY worth it!

Interestingly enough, much of what I want to share with everyone are the changes I made after the competition was over. During the competition I lost weight, a lot of weight really fast. After the competition I actually got into shape and really started a consistent workout program and a healthy balanced diet. There were things I did during the competition that I would discourage others from doing.

Here are some quick statistics:
My weigh-in at the start: 205lbs on May 27, 2008,

My weigh in at the end: 170lbs on July 19, 2008
My current weight: ~155lbs

I weighed over 200lbs since sophmore year in high school (1996)

1) What was your exercise program during the biggest loser?
It actually did not change much from before the competition. I did weight training Monday and Wednesday and cardio Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday was the SAND DUNES!!!!! However, as the competition progressed, I stopped weight training due to lack of energy. I was definitely not getting enough calories to support my normal exercise routine. That was the downside of having such a short competition, too much pressure to drastically cut calories.

2) Special diet?
I went the low carb route. I completely and totally dropped all breads, rice, potatoes, sodas, chips, pastas and desserts of any kind . Maybe once or twice during the competition did I have bread. I did not monitor my caloric intake but it was roughly 1500 calories/day. My diet consisted of chicken and other lean meats, vegetables, salads with no dressing (just salsa), fruits and nuts. I would discourage people from cutting their diet so drastically. You need to make a change that is maintainable, balanced and nutritious. My diet now is much more balanced with good carbs, meat, and healthy fats. Recently I started a whole-foods diet where I eat food that is minimally processed. This means eating foods that don't have high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils and preservatives. Basically eat foods the way Mother nature intended, in their natural form.That's another thing: I have really educated myself in nutrition and fitness since the competition ended....it became a passion not a chore.

3) What motivated me to join?

I was always self-conscious about my weight. I wanted to lose weight for many many years. I tried and failed many times. It was the competitive aspect that really made me commit. I got really into proving to others and to myself that I could do this. In friendly spirit, others in the competition would boast that they were going to win. I would just say to myself "you have no idea what I am capable of, this is my competition to win!" Also, I specifically remember talking with Emily everyday. I would tell her I was going to win, and she'd say "We'll see, so-and-so looks like they are losing lot of weight." This would really fire me up!

4) How do you continuously motivate yourself to keep your lifestyle?

I completely changed my thought process. I enjoy working out intensely and enjoy healthy foods. I never want to go back to the way I was and I put in too much effort to waste it all by not staying in shape. I have never felt so good in my life, and I want to take advantage of this and do everything I always wanted to but never could. This experience has boosted my confidence 10-fold and I am enjoying the fruits of my labor.

5) Do you give yourself treats?

I did not give myself any treats during the competition....none. I would say to myself that EVERYTHING counts. Any slip up or weakness would hurt my chances of winning. I do give myself treats now that the competition is over. But, I still try to make wise decisions and I do not crave the junk I used to eat before. I usually eat a couple pieces of dark chocolate a week. The foods I look forward to most now are my tasty protein bars and drinks.

6) What have you noticed in yourself since you lost all your weight?

I can't stess enough how positive an impact this weight loss has had on my life. It wasn't just about being lighter, I felt so proud of myself and have gained so much confidence. I am definitely an all around happier person and much more social. I am in the best shape of my life! Before this my fastest 1-mile time was 7.5 minutes in seventh grade. At the start of the competition, I could probably do a 9 minute mile. A few weeks ago I timed myself doing a 5:45 min /mile. I do 10k races at a 6:45 min/mile pace! But that is only the tip of the iceberg! I am going to tell you guys something very few people know about me (so I hope no one reads this). I have social anxiety disorder. I have been getting professional help for this for about four years and have made a lot of progress. This weight loss has allowed me to progress even more to the point where I feel like I don't have social anxiety at all....it is a thing of the past! Emily can attest to my change. Also, something else,.....this is a brand new feeling for me.......some girls actually think I am good looking now......that is something I am not used to yet (but am enjoying)!!!

7) What is your routine nowadays?

Nowadays I still do cardio and weight training regularly. I am training for a half marathon and triathlon as well. My weight training is high intensity circuit training with plyometrics included in. My cardio for the most part has been running long distances. Now I am switching to high intensity interval training. This will include sprints, hill runs, spinning, jump rope. For weight training I am going to do mulit-joint exercises that involve stressing several large muscle groups at once.....burns calories bigtime and builds serious muscle.

8) What amazes me most?

What amazes me most is how undifficult it was! Seriously! I made up my mind, commited to it and my body went along for the ride. I didn't let the voices inside my head distract me. Any obstical was just a test to make sure I really wanted this badly. When you make up your mind and fully commit, it truly becomes effortless! So take this advice from me: MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO CHANGE AND COMMIT TO IT! You are going to have rough days where you want to give in....I was just logical about it. I would say "I knew I was gonna feel like this, I knew I was going to doubt myself. Well this time I am going to ignore those feelings, they are getting in the way of my goals!"

9) Any secrets?

Well I wrote about a few secrets above. The main thing for me was to view it as proving to others what I could do. By having the external motivation, it really keep me focused on the goal. I had something to prove! Before, when I failed at weight loss, it was only me who was disappointed. During the competition my teamates, family, friends and co-workers all knew that I was in this competition. I didn't want to let them down: I didn't want them to see me fail!

10) Any words of advice/encouragement?

Like I said, all the effort, pain and sacrifice are worth it. I get so many compliments and people say how they are so impressed with me.That means more to me than any junk food or dessert ever could. I promise you, you will not remember how hard it was, you will only remember how great you felt. Your body WANTS you to lose weight, it is just that damn mind you have to convince! I want people to look at me and say "if he can do it, so can I". And its true. I never thought I was capable of this, but look at me now!

Jeremy Sanders at 155